Wedding crisis- keeping everyone happy?
September 28th, 2009
My boyfriend and are seriously discussing marriage, though we haven’t told our parents yet. If we do get married, I don’t know how to balance everybody’s desires when it comes to the wedding.
I’ve always dreamed about eloping to Vegas. I like the idea of it being just the two of us. He wants a “real” wedding, with friends and family present, a reception, etc. So does my mother. My father wants to walk me down the aisle, but he won’t go to a reception that my mother is at (my mother went through a period where she was a very violent and dangerous alcoholic, and he shakes and freaks out when he sees her now). So my father wants us to have a small initial ceremony he can be at, and then have a big grand one for my mother’s family.
So how do we do this? 3 weddings seems excessive. The Vegas thing means a lot to me, and it’s the only one I really like, so I don’t want to give that up. Any advice?
Sign Language For Babies And Beyond
September 29th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
Do the Vegas wedding!
October 1st, 2009 at 12:09 pm
Do what YOU want….it is not your parent’s wedding, it’s yours. If your two parents can’t get along, then they are the ones to miss out. Why should you start our your marriage in debt from all these different ceremonies and receptions just because you have family members that are acting like schoolyard kids.
October 3rd, 2009 at 4:45 pm
This may sound strange, but invite your dad to vegas and have him walk you down the isle. Then throw a big party/reception for everyone else when you get home. You and your new hubby could even wear the dress and tux you two wore when you got married in vegas to make it more special for everyone.
And by the way… it is IMPOSSIBLE keeping everyone happy when planning a wedding. When I first started planning ours out I tried that too, and found impossible. Just worry about you and your finance. Others can work around you.
October 4th, 2009 at 3:30 am
You and your groom need to compromise.
And, if you want to invite your mom AND dad, do it! If they don’t want to go because one is there, then they aren’t respecting your wishes.
Work on pleasing both you and your groom, NOT everybody else.
October 5th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
You don’t have to balance anybody’s desires. Do what you and your b/f want. You two will have to decide what to go with. Maybe get married with friends & family and then go to Vegas for a honeymoon. Let your Dad walk you down the aisle. It’ll break his heart not to.
October 9th, 2009 at 3:21 am
Have a Vegas wedding then come home and have a commitment ceremony and a huge reception where your father can either come or go because he has to realize it is your day and you shouldn’t have to choose between your parents. If he wants to pay for all of this then by all means go a head and have all 3 but don’t go into debt trying to please all because in the end someone will still be unhappy.
October 10th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
Well it sounds to me like it would be better to elope. That solves the mother/father issue and you won’t feel like you have to choose sides. The only problem now is that your boyfriend doesn’t really want to do that. You should sit down and discuss this with your boyfriend and tell him that you feel that this is the easiest way to do things and that it’s something you’ve always dreamed about anyway. Then, after you elope, perhaps you could have 2 receptions (1 with your mother and 1 with your father) and then they’ll feel like they got to celebrate a little bit with you after all.
October 10th, 2009 at 10:10 pm
Simple. I have known people to have two weddings. Why dont you elope first and then have a second wedding the kind your bf wants. That way you get what you want and he gets what he wants. It wont be expensive to elope in vegas. Just check out wedding packages at resorts that are there. The Bellagio is nice.
October 13th, 2009 at 7:31 pm
in the end its all about the two of you… you both need to decide what is right for the two of you and thats it…
when you both decide and put both of your plans in front, youll both have a solution,,, after all, its about getting married, no??
whether its big or small.
my husband and i came to an agreement… i wanted big, he wanted small, we decided to go big… getting married in the grand cayman islands… the small came … immediate family members only, moms and dads brothers and sisters, grandparents, no aunts uncles or cousins/// every one else will be happy, for you both no matter what you decide!!! good luck, and congratulations!!!
good luck to you both!!!
October 14th, 2009 at 3:07 am
do the vegas thing
; let your Mother do the reception after you get home from the honeymoon. ; let your dad give a dinner with his friends at a restraurant if he wants to do that.
October 15th, 2009 at 3:22 am
Your wedding day, you should be able to have it the way you want it to be…… If only it were that simple though!! What you want comes first, but you can’t completely ignore what you’re family’s wishes are either. You should talk to your parents and explain all this to them. Maybe they would be willing to compromise with something….
But here is my idea. Why can’t you elope in Vegas, but still have your dad there to walk you down the aisle? Then you can have a big reception for your mom and boyfriend.
October 15th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
Have the vegas and then a big reception with your mom’s family and groom’s family and then a nice dinner celebration with your father’s family.
October 17th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
Have the Vegas wedding if you can get your man to give up on HIS dreams and wishes. The two of you have a LOT of talking to do.
October 21st, 2009 at 2:46 am
The first thing to remember is that you have to make yourself happy first. There is no reason at all that you can’t do a ‘real’ wedding in Vegas. Some of the chapels there are really beautiful. You could have a destination wedding in Vegas, and then a smaller party/reception at home for those that don’t want to travel. Talk with your future husband, and come up with something you are both happy with. If others don’t like it, tough. You can’t ever make everyone happy.
October 23rd, 2009 at 1:35 am
fly to vegas, have daddy walk you down the isle (this means the most to me, i’m eloping on a cruise wedding!) have the big ceremony you get back with your mom and his family, that way you get your wedding in vegas, and he and your mom gets what they want, dad gets to walk you down the isle, and i’m sure he’ll understand and only hang around for the ceremony!!!
October 24th, 2009 at 7:10 pm
Do it your way and have a blow-out reception after you are married.