Sister may ruin my wedding?
September 30th, 2009
microwaveovenz asked:
My wedding is coming up my sister is ruining my wedding with the man of my dreams! I want to do something simple and casual and she openly HATES my choices, is having her own dress made (remember casual?), late for my shower and other pre-party wedding events, she belittles me in front of my family and friends. Basically she thinks the world revolves around her and for once (it is my wedding!) I would like to have fun and figure out a way to just ignore her. But then she shows up late for my shower, makes everyone wait for HER! It was suppose to be fun and CASUAL, she showed up in a cocktail dress. She also belittles me in front of my friends by, making fun of ex-boyfriends of mine, what I am wearing, pointing out a blemish, etc… beyond that she only talks about herself, how successful she is, how much money she makes, etc. And I know everyone can see through her (except my mother.)
It is just I am so irritated all the time I don’t know what to do! I want to have fun at my wedding! I have always tried to take the high road and not say anything because when I do she won’t talk to me for months – not so bad, I know! – but then my mother gets upset that we’re not talking…
Help! I know I am going to get a lot of, just have fun and over look it answers, but my question is, how? I go to yoga… I try to run away all my frustration, but then… (I am also afraid my fiance will loose his temper on her which might actually be a blessing in disguise…)
Any ideas on how to be the better person and still enjoy my wedding? When I walk away she follows…
Baby Sleep Tonight
My wedding is coming up my sister is ruining my wedding with the man of my dreams! I want to do something simple and casual and she openly HATES my choices, is having her own dress made (remember casual?), late for my shower and other pre-party wedding events, she belittles me in front of my family and friends. Basically she thinks the world revolves around her and for once (it is my wedding!) I would like to have fun and figure out a way to just ignore her. But then she shows up late for my shower, makes everyone wait for HER! It was suppose to be fun and CASUAL, she showed up in a cocktail dress. She also belittles me in front of my friends by, making fun of ex-boyfriends of mine, what I am wearing, pointing out a blemish, etc… beyond that she only talks about herself, how successful she is, how much money she makes, etc. And I know everyone can see through her (except my mother.)
It is just I am so irritated all the time I don’t know what to do! I want to have fun at my wedding! I have always tried to take the high road and not say anything because when I do she won’t talk to me for months – not so bad, I know! – but then my mother gets upset that we’re not talking…
Help! I know I am going to get a lot of, just have fun and over look it answers, but my question is, how? I go to yoga… I try to run away all my frustration, but then… (I am also afraid my fiance will loose his temper on her which might actually be a blessing in disguise…)
Any ideas on how to be the better person and still enjoy my wedding? When I walk away she follows…
Baby Sleep Tonight
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October 3rd, 2009 at 5:40 am
im sorry but if i had a horrible sister like yours I would straight out tell her you are not welcomed because of your attitude
October 5th, 2009 at 7:31 am
Your sister is obviously jealous that she isn’t the center of attention during all of your wedding planning. If she can’t be nice and supportive, cut her out completely.
October 7th, 2009 at 8:02 am
Really overdo responses to her snide comments.
when she says “last boyfriend was blank” – “Oh yes sister, if I only had your brilliance and foresight my life would be as blessed as yours” – really go overboard – everyone will see that you are mocking her, and it can be fun.
October 9th, 2009 at 4:35 am
You need to tell the drama queen straight up that you will no longer tolerate her horrible attitude and that she is out of the wedding.
Frig being the better person at this point – she needs something drastic to smarten her ass up!
October 10th, 2009 at 7:16 pm
Tell her she isn’t invited to any more wedding activities and hire a security guard to make sure she doesn’t get into the reception or ceremony. Not even kidding. You’ve already spent a lot spend a little more and make sure she stays out.
October 14th, 2009 at 4:49 am
I agree. It is your wedding day and NOONE has the right to ruin it. If your sister can’t behave then she should not be invited. If your mother gets upset then you can explain to her everything you have just explained to us, if she still doesn’t get it, oh well. Just keep telling yourself that this is YOUR day and you have the right to do whatever it takes to guarantee that it is the most wonderful, happiest day of your life.
October 14th, 2009 at 5:21 am
Obviously your sister is jealous that all of the attention is focusing on you now that you are getting married and she doesn’t have all the focus on her. She is acting this way because she wants the attention back on her. Confront your mother about this BEFORE you talk to your sister. Tell her about what’s going on and see what she recommends. I hope everything works out well!
October 15th, 2009 at 8:06 am
I pray that God will help your sister to see her problem with jealousy and that your wedding will be exactly what you’ve hoped for. I’ll be praying for you. You deserve so much better.
October 18th, 2009 at 2:46 am
Have someone keep an eye out so your sister don.t start something and keep out of it it’s your day good luck
October 20th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
Uninvite her.
Post “security” at the doors. (Extra ushers)
And get yourself to the spa for a serious massage to relax!
You’re right: it is YOUR wedding!
Oh, and while you’re at it….you might consider “un-inviting” her from the rest of your life.
Best wishes to you!
October 22nd, 2009 at 12:52 am
I’m assuming that you have spoken you both your sister and your Mom about her behavior, and are just not getting anywhere? Heres what I would do: STOP holding things up for her! As long as she knows when it starts, it’s not your job to wait on her….When she starts talking smack, just ignore, ignore, ignore…..Tell her that you really have NO desire to discuss past relationships at your wedding functions, and leave it at that! Treat her like a young child throwing a tantrum…the quickest way to get them to stop is to ignore them. In so far as the dress goes, let her know that as much as you love her, it’s your day, and if she doesn’t want to wear the dress you picked out, she wont be in the wedding party. And if she follows you, let her. I realize that “letting it go” is easier said than done. Use every support system you have in place (friends, fiancee, et all). The important thing to realize is that she can NOT mess anything up for you. Once you have the vision of her in your head as a crabby 3 year old, chances are you really WILL be able to laugh it off, and at that point, my guess is it will stop! Good, good luck to you, and I hope your Wedding Day is all you hope for!
October 25th, 2009 at 5:21 am
First of all she is a hater..i have one like that..lol I love her but choose not to deal with her..she is not in any of the affairs of my wedding but she is invited and guess what SO WHAT..people think just bc she is your sister she has a right..NEGATIVE..I think it depends on the person it is sad to say but that is just the way life goes for some people and don’t feel bad..some people live their lives by stealing other people’s joy..when you love someone you don’t hurt or belittle them so pretty much she is all for self..I wonder if we were switched at birth…lol we are sisters and they are sisters.lol it’s you day don’t wait for her anymore..you all are giving her just what she wants CONTROL ..and she wants to take all the joy off of you and she is sitting back laughing bc she is making your life a living hell..especially one of the most important days of your life,I always say you don’t have to be blood relatives to be family bc my best friend has been the best sister in the world to me..not my blood sister..it’s sad but this is just our reality and some people don’t understand it..heck I don’t see why she is that way but I won’t waste anymore time trying to guess…I am happy and stress free since I have come to that conclusion..Many blessings!
October 28th, 2009 at 1:17 am
you could un-invite her to take her down a notch, but sounds like she may just show up anyway if you do that. you could strategically piss her off a month or so before your wedding and hope she’s pissed enough not to show, then reconcile with her afterwards, that would be one way to do it. I think the best, if at all possibly solution, would be to give your mother the secret mission of distracting/managing your sister as much as possible to keep her occupied and away from you. sounds like she is the only one who would have a chance at this job and i can’t think of any other way to deal with this. On the other hand maybe your sister doesn’t realize she’s a b!tch (unlikely but possible) and maybe you want to calmly explain to her how she ruins things when she shows up. Or not so calmly blow up in her face, which might do the trick, if you tell her everything that she has done in your eyes.
good luck either way.
October 30th, 2009 at 10:53 am
if your sister is that much of pain.. don’t invite her to your wedding. Just leave her off of the guest list. I would tell her in no certain terms that she’s NOT welcome. It might cause tension, but you won’t have to put up with her on one of the most important days of your life.
October 31st, 2009 at 5:22 am
So then tell him the dilemma and ask HIM to uninvite her. If she throws a tantrum, then just explain to her calmly that you do not want her there for that exact reason. If your mother has a problem with this, tell her you are sick of your sister bull and it is YOUR day, not hers, and you can invite and uninvite whomever you want.
November 2nd, 2009 at 12:44 pm
Don’t invite her to your wedding. You may think that is hard. However, would you rather be on eggshells on your wedding day? If it is hard for you to do. Then have your fiance, tell her she is not welcome at your wedding. Due to her emotional abuse. If people get upset then let them. Good luck
November 5th, 2009 at 2:22 am
I would not invite her to the wedding. She’s acting like a child.