Hijab wedding?
September 27th, 2009
muta asked:
I live in France and am planning on going back to the states for my sister’s wedding. She does not want me to attend the wedding in my hijab.
At first she said I could not even come with it on. Then she said it was my choice but she preferred I took it off.
My plan was to compromise. I won’t wear all black, abaya and huge veil. I will wear something in color, and try to find some dress that is very very modest, stylish, with a veil to match.
Then my mom on the phone said again, ‘she’s really hoping you come in normal clothes.’
I’m getting very upset about this. Even having bad dreams about my family and how closed minded they are. I will not take it off. Should I just not go to the wedding and risk breaking familial ties (that’s haram!) or just go with my veil and endure the abuse my family is going to dole out?
For the first answer, I will tell you now that I am not implying other women who don’t veil as ‘sluts’ per se. Don’t be simplistic. I may think they do not have a clear conception of human nature, but I am not so ignorant as to think they are promiscuous..
don’t be simplistic in your thinking…
If you don’t erase that huge anti-islam rant from this thread, i will report you.
Ultimate Guide To Baby Gender Selection
I live in France and am planning on going back to the states for my sister’s wedding. She does not want me to attend the wedding in my hijab.
At first she said I could not even come with it on. Then she said it was my choice but she preferred I took it off.
My plan was to compromise. I won’t wear all black, abaya and huge veil. I will wear something in color, and try to find some dress that is very very modest, stylish, with a veil to match.
Then my mom on the phone said again, ‘she’s really hoping you come in normal clothes.’
I’m getting very upset about this. Even having bad dreams about my family and how closed minded they are. I will not take it off. Should I just not go to the wedding and risk breaking familial ties (that’s haram!) or just go with my veil and endure the abuse my family is going to dole out?
For the first answer, I will tell you now that I am not implying other women who don’t veil as ‘sluts’ per se. Don’t be simplistic. I may think they do not have a clear conception of human nature, but I am not so ignorant as to think they are promiscuous..
don’t be simplistic in your thinking…
If you don’t erase that huge anti-islam rant from this thread, i will report you.
Ultimate Guide To Baby Gender Selection
September 29th, 2009 at 9:27 am
Wear whatever you want. Talk to your family and help them understand. You aren’t the one that has to compromise, they do. Its just a piece of cloth. Geez.
October 2nd, 2009 at 2:34 am
InshaAllaah find a nice dress with matching hijab and go to the wedding close your ears if they try to tell you things. And tell them that you are being you if they like it fine if not may Allaah guide them.
Be patient sometimes our families are the worst fitna we face. Obeying Allaah(swt) comes first.
October 4th, 2009 at 8:03 pm
if i go to hijabi persons wedding i would wear more modest clothes. it is sign of respect. maybe your sister feels embarrased to her husbands family. if you love your sister and if you want to be in her wedding in this special day you should respect what your sister is asking. you can wear a nice colourful hijab with nice dress. and join them. there is nothing wrong with that. it should be special day for all family. she is your sister at the end.
October 7th, 2009 at 7:42 pm
Dear sis if they can’t accept u as u r it is best 2 stay away without cuttin family ties. i no how u must feel but the out come will be in ur favour Inshallah.
Many of my family members & realtives made fun of me when I started doin hijab at the age of 12 alhamdulillah. Some would say i will never get a hubby others would say i’ll take it off by the age of 16 & I looked the odd one out. i had full faith in allah & got more then I had expected. Deen comes from sacrifece. Not that I am behind in any worldly way alhamdulillah I’ve studied in university of London seen half of the world, fluent in 4 languages.No loss but gains,Today half of my cousin & 2 of my sisters do Hejab alhamdulillah when I was the only one. I not only got married but my husband is an alim & hafiz alhadulillah He is one of the most understanding men I have seen in life. Now even many in my inlaws haf strated doin hejab . 2day I do full pardah even 4m my brother in laws alhamdulillah & I have gained respect more then any1 in the family.When it comes 2 problems they call & tell us to pray for them coz they no the truth. I was blessed by Allah with guidence or I would haf been lost today.
Never compramize in ur deen it is the biggest gift u have & u will realize it with time.May Allah give us all estiqamah in our deen.
October 10th, 2009 at 8:58 pm
the prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) said:
if someone anger Allah to satisfy people ,Allah will angry with him and Allah will get the people angry who were satisfied
and if someone anger people to satisfy Allah, Allah will satisfy him and Allah will get the people satisfied who were angry with him
trust Allah and do the right
October 13th, 2009 at 8:46 am
You need not to compromise. Myself when I go to weddings I just wear a nice Jilbab with a nice scarf, I have been in the same situation all I can advise you is is to stick to what you want to do as it’s not wrong, and surely Allah (swt) will reward you for doing the right thing.
May it be easy for you insha’Allah (ameen)
October 16th, 2009 at 9:17 am
maybe you could compromise sister, wear some modest clothe and a hijab and remove the abaya.
its a hard question but if it was me i would probably do what i just advised.
hope all goes well sister.
October 18th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
well, since shes ur sister and u really care for her, just wear a really nice modern outfit with a shawl as a scarf, and dont wear the veil. It’ll make her happy tht u atleast dint wear the burqa and veil
good luck!
October 19th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
I agree with Islam 4 life.
You can compramise to a certain extent but with everything in Islam there is limits, so if you want to go find a colourful hijab and nice modest dress and matching veil if thats what you want. Good luck and i hope you enjoy it!
October 22nd, 2009 at 7:12 pm
U know…Allah comes first…and always will…ur parents…ur family…is just Dunya…u dont have to go to that wedding…
Dont worry about the family ties, Allah knows ur intention is to keep them but u should not obey ur parents in things that will compromise ur din…that is it…
Pls trust in Allah and bare in mind that if u are with HIM, He will be there for u, inshaAllah.
I imagine once u are there the pressure will be even greater…they will not let u use it
October 23rd, 2009 at 4:19 pm
DO NOT WEAR YOUR HIJAB! it would be a better idea to wear regular clothes like everyone else… its ur sisters wedding and you owe it to her
October 26th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
Salam sister. I’m very sorry you are struggling with this issue but if i were you i would go to the wedding wearing my hijab and blow them away. show that that hijab doesnt me you have to look ugly and not “normal”. This is your sisters wedding so you really cant miss it. Wear some chic trousers and a long top or something or a dress and a a pretty scarf. Whatever you do dont take your hijab off.
look at these all wearing their hijab and gorgeous.
October 29th, 2009 at 10:06 pm
Salaam sis. Inshallah Allah will help you out in this situation. I would suggest that you follow Islam and commands of Allah (swt) and not do what your family wants. Allah is the one who will get you to Jannah- not your family members.
Best of luck sis. Hope all goes well. xoxo
Salaam
October 30th, 2009 at 10:55 pm
Well sister your family has no right to tell you take your hijab off and even for them to request you to do so is in my opinion extremely disrespectful on their part. Yes it is haram to break the family ties, however if they compel you to do something which is outside of Islam you can break the tie with them because your allegiance to Allah swt comes before any allegiance to any human being, including your family or even husband. This my dear sister is about boundaries. You have to let them know you can be flexible about certain things, but other things are “off the table”. Tell them you are happy as a Muslim and they don’t have to agree with your choice but they have to respect it, just as you respect their choice to believe in whatever religion they choose. I think if you put your foot down, they will get the message. I had the same problem before. I was always very accommodating to my family but I then realized it only made them more bold and they started asking me to do things that were outside of Islam. You must respect your family, please do not misunderstand me, but you cannot cater to their whims when it means you will be disobeying Allah swt. Be polite, yet firm and as I know they love you inshallah they will see that they cannot emotionally blackmail you into doing things the way they want. I wish you the best sis inshallah.
October 31st, 2009 at 2:32 am
Live your own life, show up in a full-Burka.
November 3rd, 2009 at 5:50 am
I run into this a lot with my own family. I just started wearing hijab and already my family is pissed. I am also supposed to be a brides maid for one of my best friends, but her mother does not want me to be part of the wedding if I wear it, and she has known me my entire life! It is hard when your family does not accept you. I would go with a compromise, wear something nice and colorful, like a spring colored salwar and kameez with a matching hijab. If they give you a hard time about it, ask what the Virgin Mary wore to weddings.
November 6th, 2009 at 6:17 am
Allah (swt) is testing you.
You seem strong, stick to your morals, home-girl.
November 9th, 2009 at 12:49 am
Dear,
Assalamu’alaikum Warahmatullahhi Wabarakatuh.
In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.
In this situation either you attend with Hijab or do not turn up at all. Anyway l hope you attend the marriage ceremony. Your sister did say it your own choice in the third line or tn the second paragraph. Quote Then she said “it was my choice” to attend the ceremony but she preferred l took it off unquote.
Wabillahhitaufiq Walhidayah wassalamu’alaikum Warahmatullahhi Wabarakatuh.