Have you ever had such a bad relationship that after the break-up the presence of your ex causes you to panic?
September 27th, 2009
I had this really toxic relationship with my ex-fiance:
we were both abusive to the other in some manner
(he financially and verbally abused me, I was verbally abusive in return)
he really brought out the worst in me
we just weren’t right for each other
and the worst part is that we wasted 6 years on each other
he kept me locked up pretty tight:
isolated me from my family/friends and broke into my bank account
so it was hard to do but I finally I got out
And it didn’t take long for things to turn for both him and me:
Without my ex in my life I was finally able to meet my mr. right,
he and I got married,
he works a military job while I stay at home and take classes
we have a spacious apartment, a solid car,
great communication- very open and honest and respectful,
a very experimental and all-around fun sex life,
which resulted in us now being 7 months pregnant,
(my husband calls our son our “surprise blessing”)
I finally have everything I ever dreamed of
its not perfect, but I’m happy,
and its been so long since I’ve been happy…
My ex, on the other hand, was pretty happy when we were together,
he freaked out when I left,
even joined the military in an effort to win me back
when that didn’t work, we tried to be friends
the friendship was going great
I talked to him and coached him into asking a girl out that he liked
he sent me the greatest wedding present when I got married
but as soon as he found out my husband and I were pregnant
thats when things went down hill real fast:
he started drinking…he now binge drinks every weekend
and when he drinks he texts me to say some pretty cruel things…
having been together 6 years, he really knows how to hurt me
so I stopped talking to him
and eventually he stopped trying to talk to me
I figured it was best that way…we lost our friendship a long time ago
no point in trying to keep something alive when its long dead
But now…now I don’t think I’ll be able to avoid him anymore since
he’s been assigned to the same base that my husband will be based on for at least the next year…
even with hundreds of soliders, the base is still considered very small, and you can barely go anywhere in town without running into someone you know from base.
Plus, my husband has just taken a new job…which might make him my ex’s boss for alittle while when he first comes to base…
I really don’t think my ex is dumb enough to say anything to me
and, even if he is dumb enough, my husband could take care of it.
I know my fears are completely irrational
but having been in such a toxic relationship with him…
I’m afraid that his mere presence in the same time zone as my husband and I will ruin everything…
like all of my happiness, all the things that are finally going right for me, all of it will crumble before me when he shows up…
I know thats not going to happen but I’m still just so afraid…
have any of you had this happen?
where you think you’ll never have to see this person again
and you’re glad because the relationship was just so horrible
but then you’re thrown together,
living in the same town, on the same base
and you’re just so scared by their presence
with no real reason to be scared….
please tell me I’m not alone on this?
I can’t figure out why I’m so afraid…
my husband says not to be so afraid, that he’ll protect me.
And I really doubt that my ex will try anything…but I’m still just so frightened
ps
this is a repost from several hours ago, I only got responses from one gender last time, and I was hoping for both veiws
Baby Sleep Tonight
